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May 16, 2013

My Unfinished Busy-ness

We’re housesitting on a 1200 acre property in the south-east of South Australia.  Surrounded by majestic red gums and a colourful garden, the house is a beautiful old sandstone homestead with 14 foot ceilings and creaking floorboards that I’m sure must hold untold secrets of a bygone era.

Bertie the cat is curled up beside me on the old leather couch, both us basking in the warmth of the morning sun as it streams through the window.
I'm surrounded by books, in fact if I stop to count the various piles on tables, cabinets, and any bit of spare space around me, there’s actually 37 in total.  All different, all intriguing and many that I would love to immerse myself in.  A small metal plaque screwed to the bottom of a timber bookshelf says "Railway Museum Liverpool Street London", and has me wondering about the story that must accompany that lovely old piece of furniture. 

In the 'front room' - the formal lounge, there are more shelves and more books. In fact I'm overwhelmed and want to read them all, yet my busy brain cant seem to settle long enough to just finish reading one, it’s thirsty for more.  Like a kid in a lolly shop, I keep going from one treat to the next to the next.

I am filled with a desire to create.  Having never been very artistic or creative I have no idea what it is my heart wants to craft.  I have some unfinished tea cosies I’ve been knitting, an ongoing, unfinished tapestry that challenges me to return to it soon, patterns and balls of alpaca yarn wait patiently for me, and I’m suddenly aware that I seem to have a lot of ‘unfinished stuff’ about me, including my practice on the recorder.  I know if I don’t pick that little instrument up soon I’ll start to forget the notes and how to read the little bit of music that I’ve learnt thus far.  Yet my normally active self seems to have temporarily ‘retired’.  Even my usual routine of one hour’s exercise each day has come to a standstill these last few days.  Is it the grey skies that have affected my get-up-and-go?  Because I feel sure it’s got-up-and-went!

I’ve not played or knitted or even stitched for over two weeks, yet this creative yearning doesn’t seem to want to pick up needles or any musical instrument, so they wait patiently for me, and I’m left wondering what it is I need to be doing to satisfy this current crafty, creative yearning? 

How do I go about capturing a little bit of self-discipline?  I’ve tried giving myself a good talking to, I’ve tried walking outside into the sunshine but the wind is cool and the sun has now gone behind a cloud and sends me running back inside.  I’ve tried self-recrimination, scolding and self-loathing and decided that all of those things only make it worse.  Time to start being kind to myself.   Compliments, encouragement and a bit of self-love instead.  Yes that’s sure to get me going.

OK!  That's it! I’m off to DO.
Cheers till next time.

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